


You're All I've Got Left

by My_people_skills_are_rusty777



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, How Do I Tag, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Multi, My First Fanfic, Pre-Season/Series 04
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-09
Updated: 2016-01-09
Packaged: 2018-11-04 06:20:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10985145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/My_people_skills_are_rusty777/pseuds/My_people_skills_are_rusty777
Summary: This was Sherlock's fault. John had lost everything and everyone and it was all his fault.





	You're All I've Got Left

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first fanfic that I actually wrote over a year ago and never got around to posting. Some of it actually happened in series 4, although not in the same way. Sorry if it sucks.

The explosion shook the Earth and John fell to the ground, where he knelt, just out of reach of the flames that were quickly consuming his and Mary’s home. He felt hot tears running down his face as he tore at the ground screaming for Mary over and over again. Sherlock watched from a safe distance, tears sliding down his cheeks as well. He knew this was all his fault and he couldn’t stand to see John look so heart broken because of it. He wanted to leave. He wanted to turn tail and run as fast as he could away from John, but he wasn’t a coward. He would stand there and wait for John to turn his wrath on him. John could do whatever he wanted to him, he didn’t care. This was all his fault and John had a right to never forgive him for it. It was that moment that John stopped screaming and rose to his feet. Even from behind, Sherlock could tell he had a murderous expression on his face. John turned around slowly and glared at Sherlock from across his front yard. 

“YOU,” he said as he began the short walk across the yard to where Sherlock was standing. “This is all your fault! Mary and the baby are dead because of what you’ve done.”

“I know, John,” Sherlock began, “And I’m sorry. You have every right to never forgive me.”

“SORRY ISN’T ENOUGH!” John shouted and slugged him across the face. Sherlock didn’t say anything as John punched him repeatedly in the face. He just stood there, looking defeated. This only made John more angry. “FIGHT BACK! WHAT ARE YOU, A COWARD?” John yelled. 

“No,” was all Sherlock said in reply. “I deserve this.” John couldn’t handle his calm manner anymore. He pulled out his gun, and pushed Sherlock up against a nearby tree, out of the way of view from the street. John had no intention of actually pulling the trigger; even in this state of anger he could never kill his best friend, it was only to make him fight back. But with the gun pressed up against his head, a situation Sherlock had been in a thousand times before, it only made him more calm. 

“Go ahead, John,” Sherlock whispered, “do it. I deserve it.”

“NOT UNTIL YOU FIGHT ME!” John yelled. 

“No. You don’t deserve any more pain than you’re already in. I deserve to die, John. I did this to you and I’m sorry. I should have been able to protect you, and I couldn’t. I promised you, I made a vow to protect you and your family and I didn't. I let you down. Kill me. Get it over with now. I’d rather die this way than live a lifetime knowing I let you down. Goodbye, John." Taking a deep breath that could have been his last, he added, "I love you.”

“No,” John whispered in a voice so quiet Sherlock could barely hear him “No. I can’t. I can’t kill you, Sherlock.” Tears began to run down John’s face again and he dropped the the gun. “I love you too,” John reached up and kissed him hard. He could feel how much John needed him to be there, and he realized he needed John too. The kiss didn’t last very long before they were both crying too hard to do anything but stand there and hold each other. Sobs rattled John’s entire body and Sherlock let him cry into his shoulder. His own tears were swiftly soaking through John’s jumper and he wanted to wipe them away, but he didn’t want to let go of him. 

“I’m so sorry, Sherlock,” John whispered into his ear.

“Don’t be. I’m the one who should be sorry. This is all my fault and you don’t have to ever forgive me.”

“No. I will forgive you, Sherlock. Even if it’s not right now, I will forgive you someday. Just promise me one thing. Promise me you’ll never leave me. I’ve already lost everyone…" He paused, taking in a sharp breath before continuing,"Everyone I love. You’re all I’ve got left. I can’t afford to lose you too. Not now, not ever.” 

“I won’t leave you John. Never. I promise.”

“I love you, Sherlock. I always have and I always will.”

“I love you too, John.”


End file.
